Funeral Planning: Making Decisions Before They're Needed

Funeral planning is one of the most practical gifts you can give your family. When you document your preferences in advance, you spare your loved ones from making difficult decisions while grieving and prevent potential family conflicts over what you "would have wanted."

Why Plan Ahead?

The average funeral costs between $7,000 and $12,000, and decisions must be made quickly—often within 24-48 hours of death. Families under emotional stress may:

• Overspend due to guilt or pressure from funeral directors
• Disagree about burial vs. cremation, religious elements, or service style
• Forget to honor specific wishes you mentioned in passing
• Experience regret about choices made in haste

Pre-planning eliminates these problems and ensures your funeral reflects your values and personality.

Key Decisions to Make

1. Disposition of Remains

Burial

• Traditional in-ground burial
• Above-ground mausoleum
• Green burial (eco-friendly, no embalming)

Cremation

• Ashes scattered in a meaningful location
• Ashes kept in an urn by family
• Ashes interred in a columbarium
• Ashes made into memorial jewelry or art

Other Options

• Body donation to medical science
• Aquamation (water-based cremation)
• Natural organic reduction (human composting, where legal)

2. Type of Service

Traditional Funeral

• Viewing/visitation
• Formal service at funeral home or place of worship
• Graveside service
• Reception

Memorial Service

• Service without the body present (often after cremation)
• Can be held weeks or months later
• More flexibility in location and format

Celebration of Life

• Informal gathering focused on remembering the person
• Often includes food, music, storytelling
• Can be held at home, park, or meaningful venue

Direct Disposition

• No service
• Immediate burial or cremation
• Private family gathering only

3. Religious and Cultural Elements

Consider:

• Religious rituals or prayers
• Clergy or spiritual leader involvement
• Specific cultural traditions
• Music, readings, or hymns
• Symbols or religious items

4. Personal Touches

Make your service meaningful by specifying:

• Favorite music or songs
• Readings, poems, or quotes
• Photos or video montages
• Speakers (who should give eulogies?)
• Charitable donations in lieu of flowers
• Dress code (formal, casual, favorite color)
• Food preferences for reception

5. Practical Details

Cemetery Plot

• Do you already own one?
• Do you want to be buried near family?
• What type of headstone or marker?

Casket or Urn

• Material and style preferences
• Budget considerations

Funeral Home

• Do you have a preference?
• Have you prepaid?

Budget

• How much should be spent?
• Is there life insurance to cover costs?
• Should family keep it simple?

Prepaying vs. Pre-Planning

Pre-planning means documenting your wishes without paying in advance. This gives your family clear guidance while maintaining flexibility.

Prepaying means purchasing funeral goods and services in advance. Benefits include:

• Locking in today's prices
• Relieving family of financial burden
• Ensuring your wishes are followed

However, prepaid plans have risks:

• Funeral homes may go out of business
• You may move to a different area
• Your preferences may change
• Refunds may be difficult

If you prepay, ensure the funds are held in a trust or are portable.

Communicating Your Wishes

Once you've made decisions:

1. Write them down using a funeral planning worksheet or playbook
2. Share with family so everyone knows your preferences
3. Give a copy to your executor or the person handling your estate
4. Inform your funeral home if you've chosen one
5. Update as needed if your preferences change

Don't rely on your will—it's often read after the funeral.

Green and Alternative Options

If environmental impact matters to you, consider:

• Green burial: No embalming, biodegradable casket, natural setting
• Aquamation: Water-based cremation with lower carbon footprint
• Tree pod burial: Remains nourish a tree
• Reef burial: Ashes incorporated into artificial reef
• Body donation: Contributes to medical education and research

Talking to Your Family

When discussing your funeral plans:

• Be specific: "I want cremation" is clearer than "I don't want a fuss"
• Explain your reasoning: Help family understand your choices
• Listen to their concerns: They may have emotional needs too
• Compromise where possible: Balance your wishes with family traditions

Next Steps

Start planning today by:

1. Reflecting on what matters most to you
2. Researching costs and options in your area
3. Discussing preferences with family
4. Documenting your wishes in writing
5. Reviewing and updating periodically

Create your funeral plan using our Funeral Planning Playbook [blocked].